My dear


Dear Jeanie:

Jeanie this is the biggest question anyone will ever ask you...Do you believe in dust bunnies?

I can't seem to enjoy my life or any kind of existence between Monday-Thursday (the work week). I hate working and it changes my mood drastically. I'm also hating life if I have something to stress over for Monday and then it makes me not enjoy the weekend. This weekend with my boyfriend was outstanding and then last night I just wanted to sleep my life away cause I had work to deal with in the morning. I feel strung out staring at the computer. It's hard cause I work alone at home (which rocks in many ways), but I have no one to get me out of bed or my chair to see and talk with. I have no motivation to leave the house during work hours. So, what sort of little baby steps can you give me to switich some stuff around to make me enjoy my work week.

(i love the last dba album by the way!). anyhow, i've got a conflict that i'm wondering if you have any adice about. lately i have felt a strong desire to be more social, meet more people, just hang out with other members of my species. living practically every second of waking life totally alone gets kind of eerie sometimes. only thing is, whenever i go to parties or clubs, after a series of small-talky conversations and mundane little jokes, i want desperately to be alone again. i'm starting to get a little discouraged. what's going wrong here? should i be more patient? should i try hanging out in different places? where? is this the wrong way to look at things?

Small Parts

Dear SP

Since when are dust bunnies something to believe in? I have dust bunnies sticking to my socks as i'm writing this. I also like to bunch up all the dust bunnies i can find and stuff them into my bra to get a more natural wonderbra effect....oh, wait. i don't wear a bra!

xo, jeanie!

Dear SP:

My parents have been dental technicians for the past 24 years. This means that for the past 24 years, my parents have spent all their working hours in the basement of every house we've ever lived in because that's where they kept their lab. My dad is losing his hearing from the machines, and his eyesight from working on tiny little teeth. With the exception of momentarily seeing the dentist on teeth deliveries and an occasional employee or two, they have basically grown old together in our basement. I'm going to assume that there's something about your job that's more interesting than teeth. Maybe your job doesn't even require you to necessarily sit inside all day! Is there something about your job that would force you to go out? Because it seems like that is the only and most important baby step right now. If you can't motivate yourself, then learn to use your job as an excuse to go outside. You need to have contact with people even if you work from home. Make "work" lunch dates. Even if it's just with a friend, pretend like it's for work so that it forces you to get out. Of course by the time you're sitting at that sushi place with your buddy you don't really have to talk about work, but at least that got you out there! You need to find outmore about yourself and the things that you are motivated by, then apply! Be conscious of your choices. It's clear that it's not the actual work you're doing that makes you unhappy (you don't even mention what you do!). It's how you're dealing with the circumstances of your work that you're having trouble with. You are one step ahead of most people that way. Use it to your advantage! The other option is to keep doing what you do for another 20 years then finally take up golf like my parents did...

is the desire that you identify as "to just hang out with other members of my species" not accurate? because it sounds like you're looking for a specific type of people that you want to be social with. what is it that made you want to be alone again after having these conversations with people you do end up talking to? sounds like you're bored with them. arethe people you want to socialize with the kind of people that are going to be at clubs or will they be at places that are more secluded? are you looking for spontaneity? then maybe you need to enjoy being alone, but enjoy it being in places where you're surrounded by other people but not forced to talk to them, letting the opportunity to find you. either figure out exactly what you're looking for, or be ok with the what it is you don't want. patience won't fix anything. it may band-aid how you feel for a while, but eventually you will end up feeling the same way you do now. if what you mean by a desire to meet more people and be more social is simply that, then what was boring about the people you talked to? if you were being social and you weren't enjoying yourself, then maybe it's not just talking to anyone, anywhere that you're into. the only wrong way to look at a situation is to think that things will never ever be better. maybe you should work on telling some good jokes too (as opposed to mundane ones)! sharing a good laugh with a stranger always creates more room for interesting conversation.

xo, Jeanie!