My dear

Hey Jeanie!

Dear Jeanie,

umm hi im getting married in the next year or so and i was wondering if you know of any cheap 4 piece bands who could play our party..not the reception mind you but the after party the next day..also if you could recommend a caterer that would be fantastic

I once saw a commercial for certain frozen goods that claimed "when you have pizza on a bagel, you can have pizza any time". My question is this: can't you have pizza any time no matter what?....why is the bagel important? Your not the first person i've asked but hopefully you can clear things up.

this is kevin from the grandprixx, i gots a question...ok, so im at this shitty metal show with eli and ali, and i see this girl, and she was hot, so i tossed a smile her way, well, one thing lead to another and we ended up talking, than ended up in my car, when it came time to kiss her and make the move i couldnt do it, it was totally obvious that she liked me, cause she was all touching my leg and shit. i just couldnt kiss her, what is wrong. should i just trust my instinct and not do it, or force my self to hook it up... ???o yea, shes 14, but swear to go she looked 17, thats how old i am...


Dear kevin,

my initial reaction to this question was "WHO FUCKING CARES? do ANY commercials make ANY sense?" but then i began to wonder myself. i think the bagel is VERY important. pizza is generally is seen as choice for lunch or dinner. But the bagel you can have for breakfast, lunch, dinner or even for a snack. So i guess that makes it an "anytime pizza". but most people wouldn't have spaghetti sauce and melted cheeze for breakfast either so that blows my whole bagels-are-for-breakfast theory. ok, i think i've answered mtself.

CONGRATS TO YOU!! if by asking "i was wondering if you know of any cheap 4 piece bands who could play our party?" you meant "can Dirt Bike Annie play our party for free" then my answer is yes! Just let us know when and where and what to wear!!

Planning a wedding is not easy. i've been there! that's why you need to give yourself a good amount of time to plan everything out. that's why joe and i took a whole TWO months to plan our own wedding! Unfortunately, our wedding was in Philadelphia so i'm not too familiar with the catering scene here in nyc. Although, my ex-boyfriend's mom owns a catering company called Celtic Catering that i used to waitress for! I can gaurantee the food to be mah-velous however, i suggest you try checking out the wedding section at magazine stores. those things will tell you everything you need to know and you probably don't need to hear about the whole Celtic Catering staff talking about what a crappy girlfriend i was on your day! Good luck and give the bride-to-be a kiss from me!!

don't you think it was obvious that she liked you BEFORE she was touching your leg? Like how about when you guys went to your car to be alone?? The key question here is: WHY couldn't you kiss her? Judging from the fact that you brought her back to your car it seems like you liked her enough. did you find out she was 14 while you were in the car together? if that's the case, then i commend you for choosing wisely. the last thing you need is the mother of a 14 year old girl calling your mother telling her that her son is doing dirty things to her daughter!! ok, now let's pretend that this girl WAS 17, just like you said you

thought she was...were you afraid of being a bad kisser? if that was the case, then i DO think you should have kissed her. the only way to become better at it is to practice, practice, practice! girls you kiss in the future will thank you for it! (nothing is worst than some guy slobbering all over you). so, now let's assume that you DIDN'T know she was 14 and you DO know that you've got the mad skills, then perhaps you just weren't interested! maybe you thought she was a monet (ya know: "nice from far away and then you get up close and it's a big ol' mess"). maybe you REALLY wanted to kiss someone else. and if THAT'S the case, then once again, props to you. You should never do what you don't REALLY want to do. But you should know why you don't want to do it. Happy kissing!

xo, Jeanie